Hello, you lovely people,
As you are reading this I am just starting my 3rd week in my new job back home in York. That is right I am back home living with my family. I moved all of my things out of Sheffield so I technically am no longer living as a student…sad times indeed.
The reality doesn’t really sink in that your student life is over until your rent runs out and that’s it all those bottles of alcohol and trophies of posters from West Street Live have to be stripped down and thrown away. I did not realize how much stuff I’d collected over this past year but one big car journey and everything is gone. The flat is empty and my flatmate and I said our goodbyes.
I do have to say one thing, I have been blessed to live with my best friend, I have been able to be completely myself and we got way too comfortable being around each other. We also learned that we are very much like the gremlins if we eat after a certain time we have our mad moments and just could not stop laughing. I am definitely going to miss that but we do not live far from each other and I know we will have many more mad moments together.
After realizing that all my things have been moved back home I realized that’s it, university life over and back to move in with my parents!
Moving back in with your parents
I think it is an unfortunate trend nowadays that there is absolutely no way no time soon that I will be able to afford to move in either on my own or with my boyfriend. That means that I do feel that sense of losing my independence.
However, family is so important it is something that we should not take for granted and yes they may have moments where they tell me to do things and I feel irritated. Deep down I appreciate how lucky I am to have them.
It has definitely made a difference to the fact that not only have I had my mums birthday but my dads and their wedding anniversary all in one week. I have managed to catch up with so many loved ones and I feel in a really good place.
Tips to get over it:
- Distract yourself – whether that be getting a job, going for a run or simply taking the dog out for a walk. I do admit sometimes I do snap if I get told what to do but I just need to take a step back and just chill.
- Understand that this is not going to be forever – I know it probably seems like it is right? But trust me you will find that job, you will start saving and when it comes to it your family will be that support helping you into your first home.
- Be grateful – we do live in times surrounded by negativity and tragedy if you are annoyed about having to go live back home just be grateful you have a home and a family to go back to.
- Create your own space – I am gradually going through the stages of sorting my bedroom out into a relaxing place that I can do work, chill out and even have friends over so if I do feel stressed out and want my own space I can.
- Save your money – I love earning my own money and although I hate to ‘freeload’ now I have my job I will pay my own way but rent is expensive to live by yourself so you can save and gradually build up that savings pot.
That Feeling of being alone
When you come from that student life of constantly being surrounded by people your age, like-minded individuals that you can just organize on the whim to go out with. When I moved away from that hub I did feel like I had no-one around me which now I reflect on that is so stupid. I can still go and see my flatmate whenever I fancy and amazingly for some reason I failed to remind myself of the incredible lifelong friends I have back home.
Now I know that everyone’s experiences are not the same and maybe they do have a genuine sense of feeling alone with no-one around them but deep down your university life never really leaves you. It definitely is true when they say that your time at university is probably the best time of your life, let’s face it you’re never going to let that go.
I made a vow to very close friends of mine that I met at university that we will stay in contact.
You can’t just expect to bump into these friends, to keep your friendship going you all need to make an effort and organise when you will meet up. If you make that effort then there is no doubt you will not lose touch.
I preach that and it stands for all things, not just university friends, but childhood friends, your boyfriend/girlfriend and even family members. It’s pretty cringy I know but you do have those friendships where you may not talk every day but when you see each other it’s like you’ve never been apart. Those are the friendships that I’ve rediscovered now I’ve come back home and it is the best.
Make some effort
Just like I said above, you need to make some effort. Yes, if you have moved home and you’re just stuck in the house reminiscing about the student life you are gonna get bored and hate being at home.
You need to remember those friends you loved spending time with and send a message. I know us as humans are afraid of rejection but, I live by that very cheesy saying ‘YOLO’ I don’t want to lose out on friendships that I cherished. So I’ll send those messages and catch up with people. However, I do know there is another side to this and I also believe if you’ve made all that effort and that person doesn’t do the same then you should avert your time elsewhere.
I’ve been reading a book by Sarah Knight called ‘The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F**k’ and a chapter of this book is all about put your ‘F**ks’ and efforts into something else. It really taught me to realize how precious time is and if someone isn’t making the effort with you and you’ve tried your best you should just forget it. That may sound easier than it is in reality but I have so many true friends that I should make more time for.
Those are some of the lovely folk that I realized I have when I came back home and made the whole leaving my student life behind a whole lot better.
Get yourself out there
I wrote a blog post all about what was going on in York as I realised how can I hate being at home when there is so much happening:
The moment that really hit me when I realised it’s not all that bad being at home was when I went to our local Bishopthorpe Road Street Party. There was such a sense of community and everyone was so happy it made me feel so at home and comfortable.
The New York brass band performed and everyone was having such a good time that I realised how much I do love being back home in York.
There is still so much happening including the wonderful Thor’s Tipi in the gardens of the Minster, I went for drinks after work in the sunshine and again I realised why I love being at home. Everyone was relaxing after work you should really go and check it out they do massive jugs of pimms and even have food.
You can chill out there until the sun goes down. You can find Thor’s Tipi Sol Ast until 3rd September and you don’t have to pay any entry to get in either.
Plus they have the most instagrammable spot for some free promo which totally works.
There we go, if you’re missing university get back in touch with some old friends, spend time with your family and get yourself out there. Don’t sit there wallowing in your own graduate sadness go and explore where you live become a tourist in your own home.
I hope you enjoyed this post with a bit of a difference, I enjoyed writing it and there’s a couple more ideas I have up my sleeve for some advice such as:
- How to live as a student
- How to tackle your final year at university
Let me know what you think of this post and those I have just mentioned in the comments as I love to hear from you .
Did you find any of these tips helpful and do you relate to that move back home after university, how do you get over that change?
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Thank you so much for reading,