Well, well well it has been a while since I posted on here.
So much has been happening in my life that it has been a complete rollercoaster of emotions. My social media definitely took a major step back, automatically when things happen you realize what has priority in your life. It’s sad that I even have to say that I haven’t posted in Instagram since 30th July this year. I know it is a strange way to measure things but my mind has just been elsewhere. Things like Instagram, Twitter and even writing for my blog has not even been close to becoming a priority.
In a way, I suppose you could say writing on this blog becomes a bit like therapy, like writing in a diary and getting all of your feelings out. Now let’s have a little chat shall we:
My Mum is Wonderwoman
You hear all those negative stories and you always think that couldn’t happen to yourself. Those little things that you notice that have changed about you, you never think much of them. Whether it be your eyesight getting worse, becoming more stressed out or irritable or even having a slight pain in your head every once in a while.
You always think that those horrible things will never happen to you, it’s only in films or on tv. Well, my mum’s eyesight had been getting worse so she went for a simple eye test. The optician then noticed something damaging her optic nerve and referred her for a scan.
Let’s just say that scan saved her life.
She had a brain tumor, about snooker ball size in the frontal part of her brain. She had hardly any symptoms apart from her eyes getting worse and her sense of smell randomly disappearing after Christmas. However, no inkling of illness or anything. It could have been in there around 5 years and who knows what it could have done being in there any longer.
Positivity is the one thing to keep you going
My mum has been the strongest woman ever, she already was in my eyes and even more so now. She is an absolute superhero and I can not even begin to express how amazingly she has dealt with this whole situation. It’s definitely been a whirlwind over the past 6 weeks and the 13th August marks the big operation that she had, a date we will all remember for a long time.
She wanted to document the whole experience through a series of images and I am thinking about creating a blog post all about this and having her write some words about her own experience, I‘d love to hear what you guys think about this. It can always seem difficult when you go through such a life changing event but her constant positivity should be shared with everyone. It’s something that I cherish in my own personal life being positive even in horrible situations.
Breakups do not have to be so stereotypical
Unfortunately, Phil and I broke up. Yes, it sucks but I wanted to write about this because just like our entire relationship we were so casual and relaxed. We never argued over anything stupid and cherished every single moment we had together. Pretty much our entire relationship was long distance we never saw each other every day but I think that is why we never caused any chaos in our relationship at all.
We both came to the realization that our lives are going in separate ways, we are at a critical point in our lives where we are just starting out in our careers. Now, unfortunately sometimes this means you have to go your separate ways to let your own personal growth happen. We both, of course, wish it was not that way but we came to a mutual agreement. I am actually really happy that it happened in the way that it did, there was no one else involved and no horrific argument. We had the chat as we sat by the river in York and honestly we did not want to start the conversation but once we did it was probably the hardest conversation of my life but it needed to happen.
Let’s be honest
Please take this as a lesson from us, breakups don’t mean you can start bitching about the other person and making out like they did so many terrible things. Our entire relationship was amazing and I can safely say that we can carry on as best friends because he is pretty much the male version of me.
Now I’m not going to sit here and act like this break up was easy because it 100% was not as we were dating for 4 years, something like that doesn’t just disappear but it doesn’t have to. His family has said I’m always welcome to see them and I can easily message him if I want to. Now I have definitely had my emotional days because damnit emotions suck and sometimes they take over but don’t worry you will get over it. It may not be straight away it’ll be a gradual process but surround yourself with friends and go out and have fun as I’ve found distracting my brain the best way of dealing with such a shitty situation.
You discover who your true friends are
This is so real. I have been through two quite major things recently that could have really impacted on my mental health and I could have let these things get on top of me and drag me down, but I didn’t. Instead, I surrounded myself with people that truly care and will do anything for me. I want to mention two particular girlies who have been incredible particularly when I’ve been through this breakup and that is my childhood friends Hannah and Charlotte, they immediately took me to the local pub and bought my drinks. They didn’t have to do that at all but it was 100% exactly what I needed.
I am quite excited to be independent for a while, I really want to take some time and focus on being me. Planning some exciting travel trips and putting my butt back into gear both exercise wise and with this ol’ blog of mine.
I know my life has been a little crazy but to say that all of this has happened I am actually in a really positive space right now, I feel really happy within myself…mainly because I’ve done a lot of retail therapy, but hey if it helps just do it. I am really excited to get changing some things and pay so much more attention to my blog now.
Keep your eyes peeled for more posts coming up with a positive new mindset. If there’s anything particular that you would like me to write about I would love some feedback.
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Thank you so much for reading,